Recap of 10/6/13:

1.  Four basic assumptions for fulfilling God’s goal of oneness in marriage:

-Our mate is God’s provision for our aloneness needs (Genesis 2:22-24.   Receive your mate as from God, His unique provision for you, weaknesses and all.  The Fall brought about blame instead of acceptance.

-God’s only agent for change is unconditional love, not pressuring or haranguing our to change.  Most people see their mate’s weaknesses as a chance to change them/improve them.  Marriage is not a “makeover project.”

-God uses our mate’s weaknesses to perfect our character.  Our mate’s weaknesses are an opportunity for us to grow.  We grow as we learn to accept of mate.

-Our mate’s weaknesses are an opportunity for us to be needed.  Since none of us is perfect we need others to complete us.  “Perfect” people are lonely people.

2.  “Nowhere in Scripture are we encouraged to change people.  Onlyh God changes people.  We are told to make disciples of Christ by letting people follow our example as we follow Christ’s example.  God has ordained only two forces for change in marriage:  the active force of love (see Eph. 5) and the reactive force of blessing (see 1 Pet. 3:8,9).”

3.  Four questions to ask ourselves on the basis of the four uses of the word “blessing” from Scripture:

-What positive qualities about my mate can I praise him or her for verbally?

-What benefits—presents—could I bestow upon my mate?  In what way can I be a blessing to him or her?

-What qualities about  by mate am I thankful for and how can I communicate this to him or her?

-What specific areas of my mate’s life should I pray that the Lord will bless?

(source for the above:  Don Meredith, Becoming One, released later as Two Becoming One: Experiencing the Power of Oneness in Your Marriage with his wife Sally)