Recap of 11/10/13:

1.  Four Biblical responsibilities of women in marriage:

-Respect and respond to your husband’s leadership (Ephesians 5:22,24; Colossians 3:18)

-Express appreciation (Ephesians 5:33)

“Men will do almost anything to gain the admiration of others.  They will literally search for someone to love and respect them—and you can be that someone to your husband by letting him know you’re interested in him, that you desire to know what’s behind his decisions and the direction he’s going.” (Gary Smalley)

“Honest admiration is a great motivator for most men.  Admiration not only motivates, it also rewards the husband’s existing achievements.  When she tells him that she appreciates him for what he has done, it gives him more satisfaction than he receives from his paycheck.  A woman needs to appreciate her husband for what he already is, not for what he could become, if he lived up to her standards.  Remember that a man needs appreciation.” (Willard Harley)

-Provide a good home atmosphere (Proverbs 14:1; 12:4).  The term “a wife of noble character” “implies both the nobleness of her character and her effectualness in the home.”  Her household is well-ordered and her family and home is well-managed.

-Be positive and supportive, not quarrelsome (Proverbs 21:9; 21:19; 27:15,16; 1 Peter 3:1-6).  The term “quarrelsome wife” means one who is “argumentative, contentious, finding fault incessantly, who is constantly scolding, urging.” The idea is someone who is continuously nagging or whining.

2.  To experience the oneness God desires in marriage, we must:

-Recognize the spiritual dimension of marriage by: Putting Christ first, recognizing we have a sin nature which seeks to make us self- serving rather than loving, yielding to the Holy Spirit daily and dealing with sin daily, and fulfilling biblical roles in God’s power.

-Concentrate on our mate’s strengths not weaknesses.

-Deal with conflict in a constructive way.

-Communicate our needs clearly and honestly without escalation, invalidation, negative interpretations, or withdrawal.